He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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