hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize