Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
