In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We need to get me chipped asap
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
