Fine. I'll sleep in my office
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Is it because I queefed?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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