I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just invented taco cereal.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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