don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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