they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
