His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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