is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
