Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
