thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
