yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
