I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Randomize
