Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
