I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
