I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
