People in love make me want to vomit
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The feeling are messing with the penis
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
