Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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