im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
