i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Dicks are not precious.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize