omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
