i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
