I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
