Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
