what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
