I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
