i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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