He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
