I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
