at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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