I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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