it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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