We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
