Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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