I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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