I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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