if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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