my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
