We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
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