DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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