he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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