I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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