I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
