Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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