Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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