dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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