dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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