just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
