I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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