Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
