did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
