somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
