my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
