He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
