Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
