somebody snuck up and got me drunk
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
