I want to walk on stilts...naked
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
