just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
