There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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