ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
