My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
