I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
