I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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