i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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