When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.