I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
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you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
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well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.