didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
ok i will unlock the door
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend