He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16