Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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