Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
